Moving Soon!

First, a weight update: I'm down to 221.
Second, I will soon be moving the blog. It will be less rambly and more helpful, hopefully. So, stay posted...

Honestly, We Lie to Ourselves

When someone asks me how I've lost weight, it's hard to answer. This is like asking an author, "What's your book about." The questioner expects a succinct, all-encompassing response. I haven't fully explained my approach in a dozen blog posts, how am I supposed to in a sentence (anything longer and the person is likely to forget the question)? So, I usually respond with the unhelpfully vague "by slowly changing my habits," but the answer they want is something like, "Weight Watchers," "Atkins," or "The Pennsylvania Coal Miners Diet." So, here goes another attempt to answer the question, "How have you lost weight?"
We are all liars. I lie. You lie. Little sister lies. Grandma lies. Yet, for most of us we don't lie to those around us, that would be wrong, we lie to ourselves. We lie about writing ability (ahem), about our driving skills, about our bodies, about so many things.
We tell ourselves half-truths (or half-lies, if you're that type of person) to feed our ego, to justify inaction, or just to get by. No matter the purpose, these lies are what prevent us from losing those pounds, or advancing our career, or just being better.
Honesty about our talents and flaws helps us lay out the path to improvement. Using our artless talents to stamp out, or at least evade, our real flaws will help us to become the people we think we are.
As I marvel at the progress I've made over the last couple months, I realize that honest self-evaluations have enabled the changes. Even though for years I have known about, and readily admitted to, my Coke addiction and for the same amount of time I knew how bad it was, it wasn't until recently that I realized my unhealthy attitude toward food. I have never really seen food as nutritional. Food's always been more comforting than nourishing (and I'm using comforting here to mean both soothing/consoling and gratifying). (As I've written before, the comfort value in food should not be ignored, however, if that takes priority over the nutritional value it's unhealthy.)
With this information, I have begun to change my reality to match my perception. Eating after 9PM, comforting or nutritive? Comforting, so that's out. Coke, comforting or nutritive? Comforting, so that needs to be cut back to almost none. And so I go.
This is not the only lie I have left to own up to. But, it's a start. 30 pounds later, I would say it's an amazing start.
Now, if someone asks "How did you lose all that weight?" I should respond, "Through an honest self-inventory of my perceptions that led to changing habits one-by-one so that I can effect a life-long change." Though I'll probably just say, "Through The Pennsylvania Coal Miners Diet."

Everybody Has Them and They All Stink

If you had read the build up to this post, you might be expecting an excuse riddled post now. So, in order to keep up with expectations here's my excuse for not writing and posting as I had planned: I don't have one. I kind of shrugged off the blog/weight posts as uninteresting and unread. Yet, I remembered yesterday that the point was never to be appreciated or read, but to write the posts as a motivational tool to stick to my weight loss goals .

So here I am, posting again. First thing, I have definitely not given up on my weight loss. In fact, I'm more motivated and seeing more progress than ever. I think the biggest problem with this large gap in posting is that my last couple of posts illustrated my frustration. However, that soon passed.

I, now more than ever, see the value in my incremental, habit-changing method to weight loss. Through dropping my Coke consumption, reducing my portions, and not eating after 9 PM I have lost about 25 pounds over the last two months. Not only have the results convinced me that these goals are attainable, the day-to-day living of the goals has proven to myself that I am capable of living a healthier life. When I have reached my ultimate goal, I know that I will be able to maintain this lifestyle. I am not subjecting myself to extreme and/or fad diets. None of my plan includes, nor will it ever, supplements, bland foods, or suppressing my love of good food. The keywords to this method are moderation and self-control.

My biggest hurdle in this whole process was my Coke consumption. I know that ultra-sugary drinks are bad. They contain no redeeming nutritional value. I've known that if I could cut Coke out of my life that I would see immediate results. Yet, here's the thing, I've never wanted to cut it out. Doing so would be unrealistic. I love Coke. I never drank the stuff just because it was easily-accessible. I drink Coke, because I like Coke. So, when I started this thing I decided that I needed to cut it to near-elimination. I have done that. I will not drink more than 1 Coke a week for the foreseeable future (except in special circumstances). I have kept this up for 3-plus weeks and as each day passes my former dependence lessens.

I guess that's a prime example of the philosophy of "moderation in all things." I believe that by adhering to this principle I can balance being healthy and enjoying what I eat.

So called health nuts I think fail to take into account the emotional and psychological role food plays in everyone's lives. The term "comfort food" is not just some asinine cliche used by Food Network chefs to justify their high fat, high sodium creations. Food can truly comfort. The definition of comforting foods is personal. If we are honest with ourselves, we know that many of these sources of personal comfort are held up as unhealthy. They are decried as the reason we're all fat. I say that, in moderation, they can be one of the reasons we are sane.

I could continue on like this, but I'll save it for later. Just as a note, since I haven't posted my weight in a while, I had been using two different scales and I realized about a week ago that they had about 5 pounds difference between the two. So, I've committed to one scale only. So, going by that scale, my weight when I started was 256 pounds.

My weight (as of 10 days ago) is 232 pounds.

This Week's Goals

Not much to report (except that I need to get a scale). Per usual, my diet goals were kept. More of my pants are fitting looser. While 2 of the 3 exercise days were left open, 1 was reasonably kept.
New goals this week:
-Exercise at least 3 hours.
-Drink only 1 Coke.
The rest of the previous weeks' goals remain.

Not Beat Yet

(Disregarding the reason, I didn't make it to a scale this week. I don't have one at home. However, my pants are noticeably looser and, as I mentioned last week, I am on the skinniest notch on my belt. So all is not lost.)

The trouble I'm finding with this whole life change thing is the change part. It's not easy to schedule change. It doesn't accomodate long-set plans or daily chores. Change doesn't attach itself to your already well-established routine and tag along. Change, especially to the extent I'm attempting, dismantles the day-to-day to create a new routine.
I guess I'm passively fighting the change required to create new habits, especially exercise ones. I can't seem to work the necessary time in my daily agenda (which includes unplanned responsibilities) to make it a regular part of my day. Between work, an infant in the house, husbandly duties, two church callings and the unexpected time commitments that pop up unannounced (like putting down your pet chicken so that she doesn't keep suffering) I'm too exhausted by the end of the day to fit in a workout plan. I'm not making excuses. I just find it necessary to detail the obstacles keeping me out of the gym. By locating the problem, I can start to fix it.
Maybe I need to treat the physical part of my plan like I am the diet part. It should be gradual changes leading to massive ones. Instead of expecting 3 full workouts a week in the gym, maybe I should just plan an hour total of exercise a day at home. I can combine yoga DVDs, push-ups & crunches, dog walks, etc. to start on the right path. That's what I'll try this week.
So, as you can tell, I didn't keep my workout plan once again. But, I kept the dietary goals and am feeling better than I did a couple weeks ago because of them. This week, I will not add any dietary goals so that I can focus on the exercise. I need at least 4 45 minute workout sessions to reach it. (The sessions can include any of the things I mentioned; they just have to be set aside blocks of time that are dedicated to specific exercises.)
If anyone has any suggestions for effective starter workouts I can do at home without any equipment, please let me know. I'm willing to try anything to get the ball rolling.

Goals for June 12-18

Another week without significant progress (any progress, really) on the exercise front. I failed to get in one scheduled workout. It's really not surprising, however. With so many demands on my time nowadays, it really is difficult to nail down at least an hour and a half to get to the gym. This doesn't excuse my failure in these goals; it just means that because of this I need to make more sacrifices for it to happen.

The good news: I kept to all of my diet goals. And, despite the lack of good exercise, I feel last week was a success.

So, for this week here are my goals:
-No more than two Cokes.
-No more than one snack per day.
-Three workout sessions. (Although I haven't kept any of the workout goals they are still doable and absolutely necessary.)

With just the diet changes I'm feeling better. I don't think I look any better, but I did have to move to the last notch on my belt (that is the good last notch, not the bad one ).

This week's weight: 243

Well, that wasn't too bad. I know where I stand. I know where I need to be.

Goals for Week of June 5-11

Last week was somewhat tough. I started out strong, but the going got a little rough in the second half. I twice ate after 9 PM. I really only exercised once (again, softball doesn't count, and no matter how much I want to convince myself it does, neither does mowing the lawn). I'm sure it will show on the scales.
However, I kept my Coke consumption to where I wanted it. Plus, I only had two fried foods. So, it wasn't a complete failure.
Therefore, this week I really need to focus on exercising (I think the eating after 9 nights were flukes). I will make an actual plan for exercising and will stick to it. So, in addition to the original three goals, this week's goals will be:

• Only 3 Cokes. (This is a two-weeks at a time kind of thing.)
• No fried foods. (This will be an every-so-often type of goal, since it would be unsustainable to do this indefinitely. I am not a lunatic.)
• Workout three days with a plan and incorporate weights.

Discouragement happens. I have no reason to get caught up in it. Overcome is an intimidating word for a reason.

Weight Loss Isn't A Competion

(Note: this post is not meant as a critique for those who find true success in competition. This is just my thoughts on why they usually don't work, especially for me.)


We have all had opportunities to participate in assorted weight loss competitions through work, school, family, etc. For me, and I suspect most of us, they cannot effect a lasting change. I think that change, real life-altering change, can only come by way of pure motivations. What is pure is different for all of us. I think these motivations are deeply ingrained in our souls by the time we reach maturity (whatever that is). Competition is rarely a pure motivation for anyone. Unquestionably, it's not for me.
I understand the potential for a weight loss competition to help jumpstart better habits. Any path to better health is a good path, right? It has to be. It's not. The lure of the prize, no matter how large the lure or the prize, to motivate a demanding diet and exercise schedule (especially when such a schedule didn't exist before) is unsustainable. Once the incentive is removed, even if you win, the motivations to maintain good habits will invariably dry up. Every competition has a time limit, a defined end; good health has no set time.
Then, in order to begin establishing better habits one must pinpoint what motivates them towards true, meaningful actions. My purest motivations (as far as I understand them now) are family (I lump religion in with this one) and intellectual pursuits (writing (among other creative outlets like baking), reading, films (translation: movies), television, music, and making fun of Lady GaGa and her ilk). Now that I'm finally understanding the importance these things hold in me, I'm finally feeling the pull of getting healthy, so that I can be an active father and so that any self-imposed obstacle towards intellectual growth is removed.
I'm waxing philosophical here because I want this to stand as extra-motivation when keeping my goals gets hard. (I've had a couple hiccups already.) I need to acknowledge what is driving this whole thing. It's not a pathetic plee for attention or a vanity project. It's an attempt to chronicle my changing habits for myself and my family (especially Stella and Jess).

241 Pounds. Man, Water Weight is Easy to Lose

So, that's all it took to see some results: two weeks of less Coke and a little more control over when and how much I eat. I can do this, right?
I did about an hour of cardio on a stationary bike that felt good, but I know it's just a start. For my other workout this week I'll incorporate some weight training and maybe in a few weeks I'll take on a real bike. (You know, the kind with one really big wheel out front and two smaller ones behind and when you pedal the big wheel turns to propel the two smaller ones forward and since the one wheel is big it provides a lot more thrust, even though the control can be a little wonky because of the big wheel. I forget what they're called. Ah yes, The Bike that Couldn't Slow Down.)
As a side note, plain Low Fat Cottage Cheese is not the most appetizing dish in the world. Man, I wish I hadn't run out of peaches.

Removing the Stigma of Being Fat

Okay, this post's title is a little misleading. Not only am I not capable of removing a stigma from being fat, I don't necessarily want to. I just thought it sounded good. However, this blog's title is not misleading. The reason I wanted to start this thing is to broadcast to any who are interested my path to achieving a healthy weight. I don't want to take on a radical, fad diet/workout plan, because if I do it won't last. I want to radically change my life through incremental (re: achievable) goals.
A couple weeks ago, I sat down and made three goals: no more than four Cokes a week (down from who knows how many), no eating after 9 PM, and smaller portions when I do eat. (I know the last one shouldn't really count since it's completely arbitrary and somewhat hard to measure, but this is my thing so lay off.) Provided that I kept to those goals, I was set to start a workout plan (also incremental) and add to the diet goals. I kept them.
The next plan was to start weighing myself weekly. I know the pitfalls of a weekly weigh-in can bring. I know that while keeping to a diet and exercise plan weight can fluctuate as I lose fat, gain muscle, occasionally falter, and so forth. I know that it can be demoralizing to remain faithful to a plan only to see the needle on the scale tick up. The weekly weigh-in is not so much a motivation. It's principle purpose is to provide a measurable progress bar, where all verdicts are held until a reasonable amount of time has passed. While the weigh-in is not a motivator, this blog (and Twitter and Facebook) are.
Once a week, I will post my weight for that week on my widely-read Twitter account (that I set up today) and my personal Facebook page. Every month, along with the weekly weight, I will post my total weight loss since the start. Publicly announcing my weight (especially at the particularly weighty beginning) does seem at once extremely vain, presumptuous, and foolhardy. Still, it is necessary.
Without getting too philosophical, we are all vain. Vanity stems from the consuming-desire for praise and love from all who surround us. While declaring personal accomplishments provides the declarer a certain level of contentment, public self-shaming can also provide that. It can certainly motivate. That's my intention with all of this.
My goal is to lose an average of five pounds a month, so that in the next year I will have lost 60 pounds (which gets me within reaching distance of my ideal weight). I want to be better prepared for when our little one starts to walk and run, so that I won't get winded chasing her around the house; and, so that chasing her around the house doesn't become a chore, but a joy.
Each week, after I've posted my weight on Twitter and Facebook, I will make a little blog post about how I feel about my progress, any tweaks I'm making in the plan, etc. Then on Sunday I will make a post about my health (diet/exercise) goals for that week. That's not to say I won't post more (hey, nobody said you had to read); I just won't post less.
To get this week started on the right foot, here are my goals for this week:

• Cut down to no more than three Cokes a week (this will be in place for the next two weeks).
• Eat fried foods only twice.
• Workout twice (slowpitch softball does not count).

Each week's goals will be in addition to the previous weeks' (unless I'm modifying or improving on a previous one).